CAE Writing Part 1 Archives

CAE Writing Part 1: Helping Immigrants III

Your class has watched a television documentary about the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
Notes:
-Language
-Culture
-Work

Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.

Immigration is one of the most discussed and important issues in today’s society. The immigration has increased significantly over the past few years. In this essay, I will discuss some of the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
First of all, it is extremely important that the host country provides language classes to immigrants. This is because if they know the local language it will be much more easier (1) for them to communicate with locals and this will lead to them making contacts that can be very helpful in the integration process. Also, language is very important when applying for a job.
However, providing language classes to every immigrant can be very expensive in the long-term and it is something that has to be paid for by using the money from taxes. Therefore, the country has to make sure that the classes are efficient and that they will ensure good results resulting in that the person can get a job.
Secondly, another important thing that a host country should help their immigrants with is something I have already touched upon, to get a job. In order for a immigrant to really integrate in their new community they have to get the opportunities to meet local people and understand their culture. By getting a job, people get these opportunities every single day which is extremely valuable. Also, providing jobs to immigrants very is (2) beneficial for the country in terms of more taxes.
Over all, I think that welcoming these people into the country is not only extremely valuable for the immigrants, it is also extremely beneficial for the country.

The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.

Easier is the comparative form of easy. Used with ‘more’ it becomes lexically incorrect.
I’ll assume that the two words very misplaced by accident and will instead mention the frequent use of ‘very’ in this text. Consider using different intensifiers for the sake of variety.

Another great piece of writing. Lexis, grammar and structure are all at a more than adequate level with almost no mistakes or inaccuracies. However, more attention should be paid to the intensifiers used accross the text.

CAE Writing Part 1: Helping Immigrants II

Your class has watched a television documentary about the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
Notes:
-Language
-Culture
-Work

Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.

Nowadays immigration is one of the most controversial issues in the modern world. While some areas are considered to be nice places for living due to the culture diversity, others tend to be less welcoming for immigrants because of many problems arising with their arrival. Anyways, all immigrants do not feel confident in the new environment and it is very important to help them accommodate and adapt.
Language can be the greatest barrier while moving to another country, so many people would need professional help in this case. I believe that language courses have to be provided at lower expenses for the immigrants. First of all, they might not have enough money to afford the normal price due to moving costs. In addition, the long-term benefits from knowing the local tongue can be brought if some of them are skilled workers.
In case the government doesn’t have enough money to provide lower fees to immigrants, it is possible to make them feel better by respecting their culture and perhaps giving them some tips on how to not seem ridiculous in some sort of situations because behaviour patterns might vary a lot especially if immigration is happening across the globe and requires communication with people of different religions.
Both points discussed in this essay will make immigrants’ life easier and less stressful and, moreover, show the host country as a welcoming and nice place to settle down in.
(237 words)

This is a great example of a well-balanced essay. The points are sufficiently developed in a straightforward, easy to understand structure. Both lexis and grammar are sufficiently varied with no evident mistakes or inaccuracies (as far as I can tell). There is no word or structure repetition across the text and the author is consistent with their register.

CAE Writing Part 1: Time Abroad II

What are the benefits to a country from people spending time abroad?

– business
– culture
– understanding

Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.

Research has proven that it is beneficial for countries when tourists spend time abroad. Not only is it liberating to experience a variety of areas in a new kingdom such as the local businesses, different cultures and one’s overall understanding of a different way to live, but it also enables a country to grow.
Firstly, financial institutions gain a great deal when people explore their interests in a new environment. This is evident as the economy will suffer tremendously if tourists are unwilling to spend their savings in order to satisfy their interests, thus, leading to a lower income which will affect the remuneration of employees. Furthermore, workers will opt to seek out other opportunities, depriving (1) a country financially. With that said, it is crucial for travellers to immerse themselves in a country as it will support the local enterprises and even provide more employment opportunities for citizens.
In addition, it is apparent that introducing your nation’s cultures to the minds of travellers is the key of exploring a new country. For instance, introducing a country’s cultures to tourists will allow them to explore new traditions, taste new foods and educate themselves about something bigger than their own world. Ultimately, resulting in the attraction of a multitude of tourists. When a country is able provide travellers with a feeling of belonging the word will spread, hence, allowing a nation to keep abreast with its fellow competitors.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that tourism is the bedrock for any growing nation. It has proven to be beneficial to different areas in a country. Inviting travellers to be a part of a nation enables it to exceed the expectations of what it was initially set out to be.

This CAE Writing has no inaccuracies as far as I can see. The writer has a very strong grasp of the language as well as great confidence in using a variety of grammatical and lexical constructions. The text is well-structured with clearly defined introduction and conclusion paragraphs. The argument presented is fluid and seamless. A job well done!

CAE Writing Part 1: Preparing for Working Life II

Which methods governments should use to prepare young people for working life?
— visits from employers
— apprentice schemes
— work-related subjects at school

Hardly anyone can argue than gaining young people’s (1) when it comes to serious academic situations can be quite challenging, but there is no doubt that if there’s one topic that will efficiently gain their attention it has got to be their quickly upcoming future. Nowadays kids, teenagers especially, are usually surrounded by the constant pressure that comes with the uncertainities and misteries (2) the times to come might present. The world’s generally unstable economy and society’s highly competitive capitalist system leaves them no other choice, so, fortunately for those who are interested in shaping ours (3) future leaders, it comes as no surprise that the aspect of what their lives might hold once they become independent is the one that manages to successfully gain their attention and interest. Due to this, the process of more adequately preparing young people for working life should be fairly easy as long as the proper methods are implemented. The two more promising suggestions seem to be the implementation of regular school visits done by experienced employers, and the addition of extra work related (4) subjects in schools available for any student who might be interested in informing themselves about a certain working branch or profession.
While the second option might sound more attractive to those who trust theorical education over any other practice, I personally believe the implementation of employer’ (5) is the right way to go if we aim to genuinely gain the students’ interest. Not only would this visits (6) be something they would look foward (7) thanks to the lightness they’d provide in comparison to other classes, but this method would also be one that guarantees their direct involvement if designed and planned correctly.
On the contrary, the addition of new subjects is sure to be a significantly big (8) failure since young people are already burdened with more than enough work and little to no free time so it seems unlikely that they would actually willingly add more work to their already thight (9) schedules. Furthermore, even if they were to accept and participate in this classes, the results would likely be quite unfruitful due to the reasons previously mentioned.
It goes without saying that the most effective way to go would be to implement both systems and let each student decide what their personal preference is based on their own likings, but if there is a need to choose a specific one, I would highly suggest the implementation of professional’s visits.
(404 words)

I believe there was an attempt to pluralise ‘people’ which shouldn’t be done here. A possessive form is not required either.
Mystery is the correct spelling variant. See list of misspelled words for more examples.
interested in shaping our future leaders
work-related is a compound adjective and should therefore be spelled with a dash.
Unneccessary apostrophe
these visits – visits are plural here.
something they would look foward to — ‘to look forward’ has a literal meaning of looking in front of you. ‘To look forward to’ means ‘to feel excited or enthusiastic about something in the future’.
new subjects is sure to be a significantly bigger failure — you have to use a comparative adjective in this context.
An incorrect spelling of tight.

The main issue of this essay is its bloated first paragraph. It is imperative the writer has a well-defined and reasonably-sized introduction. To rectify this issue would mean improving this piece of writing significantly. The argument presented in a clear, structured way. The language is fairly varied and free of mistakes that impede understanding. Most of the minor mistakes are either typos or slips.

CAE Writing Part 1: Time Abroad

What are the benefits to a country from people spending time abroad?

– business
– culture
– understanding

Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.

It goes without saying that spending time abroad is an enriching experience and with the fact that the people have gained experiences trough it. It also brings benefits to the society in which they live.
Firstly, there are advantages for business. If people have spent time living in another country, they will have acquired some knowledge of the spoken language. Even though they may not become fluent, they will be able to communicate in an adequate level (1). As a result they understand and get a sense of the mentality and culture. Furthermore languages skills will stand them in a very good stead, when it comes to doing business with this country (2).
Secondly, there are cultural advantages. People who have lived abroad will know the way of living in the country different from their own. They get in touch with new food, music or arts. Especially if they want to become an artist it may influence their kind of art they did before. In other words knowing new arts have a positive impact on their creativity, which in turn will bring benefits to them as individuals as well as to their own society. Consequently the impact of living abroad has a great influence on both society and the people who lived there for a certain period.
As shown above the two benefits the two benefits of society of spending time abroad which have been discussed, the more significant aspect is, in my opinion, the business own (3). Despite the fact that the globalization brings countries closer and is important for growing, a successful business between nations has all sorts of positive consequences; from increased employment opportunities to better working conditions. The travel experience for itself plays only a small factor contributing to business success, but it certainly is not a significant part in this.

At an adequate level — Wrong preposition here. See this article on prepositions to know the most basic cases and avoid mistakes in the future.
As a result they understand and get a sense of the mentality and culture. Furthermore language skills will stand them in a very good stead when it comes to doing business with this country — language should be used in singular. The comma after ‘stead’ can be omitted.
the more significant aspect is, in my opinion, the business one — it seems that a wrong word has been used here.

Even though the essay contains several inaccuracies, they do not get in the way of understanding it. It has the required structure, all of the required points are mentioned and there is not much that can be improved, other than a slightly longer introductory paragraph. Well done!

CAE Writing Part 1: Helping Immigrants

Your class has watched a television documentary about the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
Notes:
-Language
-Culture
-Work

Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.

Nowadays, it is said that immigration is a problem that is constantly rising. Within the upsides of helping immigrants are the ethical and moral disciplines. In this essay, the issues of language and culture will be covered.
Firstly, we must take into account how difficult and hard it is for foreigners to adapt to our language. We ought to give our help to these people on this matter, but the question is: how? One answer to this enquiry (1) could be to set an obligatory language exam before the integration for foreseeing how the immigrant will do in the future with our language. Courses could be offered too, paid by the government of each country. However, these measures won´t be effective if we don´t participate. The change in mind must start from us.
Another point to consider is culture. On the one hand, it is true that we could loose (2) our national identity and traditions, but on the other hand, our culture would be enriched too, being this a superb advantage (3). Immigrants would give us difference (4) and amongst all, tolerance, both essential elements in today´s society. In this issue we must also contribute, just by reducing our selfishness and helping others in the daily aspects of life.
To sum up, both areas are necessary and therefore important, as they are the key to modern society. In other words, we couldn´t do without language or culture nowadays. Personally speaking, I believe that we all must participate in this global and ethical change happening and we should happily “celebrate diversity” (5).

One answer to this matter/problem could be — I wouldn’t use this synonym to ‘question’ here as it is not a literal question but instead a matter or a problem that has to be dealt with.
On the one hand, it is true that we could lose our national identity — ‘loose’ is an adjective that means ‘not firm or tight, having slack’. If you did imply that, then the verb would be ‘to loosen’.
Our culture would be enriched too, this (or the latter) being a superb advantage — if I understood this right, this refers to culture getting enriched. Both suggestions would make the connection more clear.
Immigrants would give us variety/diversity — variety or diversity would fit in better. Difference does not possess the implies positive meaning.
I see no reason for parentheses here.

Some minor vocabular inaccuracies aside, this is a very well-written essay. The author is confident with their usage of English, the grammatical and verbal constructions are varied and well-structured. The general structure is in accordance with the task requirements and all of the relevant points are sufficiently developed. Well done!

CAE Writing Part 1: Preparing for Working Life

Which methods governments should use to prepare young people for working life?
— visits from employers
— apprentice schemes
— work-related subjects at school

As many people know, the first steps in the professional career can conditionate (1) success in the next years in any field, (2) for this reason, we should consider what could the governments do in order to offer more opportunities to the (3) young people. The answer seems clear to me: adapt the subjects to the labor world requirements and enclose the relationship between the students and the employers (4).
Firstly, It seems to me that what the students need is a paradigm change. In a modern society, some subjects such as Latin or Arts have become in something (5) obsolete. The breakthroughs in the science are requiring young people with a background in computer sciences or electricity, that explain why many students feel a disappointment (6) when they start their working life and their degrees results complete sinless compare with the real necessities of the companies (7).
On the other hand, we can forget the existence of a barrier between the companies and the universities. Government should find a way to become the internships in a part of the curricular plan as well as organize visits to schools from the pioneer companies to encourage them. Moreover, employers are the perfect candidates to illustrate the working life to the unexperienced teenagers.(8)
To sum up, taking into account the previous arguments, I consider that following these recommendations, government would be ensuring not only that the companies trigger to the students to choose the most appropriate career, also aiding them to develop more valuable skills. (9)

As many people know, the first steps in the professional career can set conditions for success — I haven’t seen the word ‘to conditionate’ used anywhere. My guess here is that you meant “to set conditions for something”. Consider googling a word if you are unsure whether it can be used in certain meaning or if it exists at all.
Consider adding “and” or breaking this long sentence into two shorter once for cohesion
Offer more opportunities to young people — I would omit the definite article here as you probably mean young people in general rather than a particular group. Consider reading a short entry about the basics of article usage.
The answer seems clear to me: adapt the subjects to the labor world requirements and bring the students and the employers together — the world ‘enclose’ doesn’t have a meaning ‘to make closer’. I took the liberty to rephrase the sentence to convey the same meaning.
Firstly, It seems to me that what the students need is a paradigm change. In a modern society, some subjects such as Latin or Arts have become somewhat obsolete. — ‘somewhat’ would fit better in here. It is unclear what arts are meant here.
Do not use indefinite articles with abstract nouns such as feelings.
And their degrees turn out to be completely useless compared with the real needs of companies — I have corrected the sentence the way I understood it. I have omitted the definite article before ‘companies’ because no particular companies are meant here.
Moreover, employers are the perfect candidates to demonstrate/showcase the working life to the inexperienced teenagers.
To sum up, taking into account the previous arguments, I consider that following these recommendations, government would be ensuring not only that the companies (help students) choose the most appropriate career, (but) also aid them (in) developing more valuable skills. — consider rephrasing the sentence or dividing it into two parts to avoid using so many commas; also: aid in (doing) something.

This writing would be much improved by more consistent grammar and vocabulary. It is sometimes difficult to get the idea behind some of the sentences. Nevertheless the author managed to structure their essay appropriately, provide relevant examples and as a result fulfil the task requirements.

CAE Writing Part 1: Life and Technology

Which aspect of our life has been effected most by technology?
– Communication
– Relationship
– Working Life

Technology has an important role in our daily lives and it is used in almost the whole globe (1). In this essay, I will discuss about (2) its influences in (3) our relationships and what has changed in our way to communicate.
To start with, we can connect to people who used to be our schoolmates or college colleagues (4) Alternatively, there is the chance on (5) making new friends with whom we share our same ideas or opinions on a large variety of topics, such as politics, education and economics. Nevertheless, being isolated in our own rooms may cause many forms of depression, as scientists have recently found out. Therefore, we should be careful if considering young people because they could be victims of cyber bullying or be attracted by paedophiles.
The second point to consider is its positive effect on the communication. For instance, not only are our messages sent and received from one corner of the world to another in a few seconds, but also the search of information and news has recently become faster. Despite this brilliant innovation, many grammatical features are used more inappropriately than before. Consequently, our language will become easy to manipulate and it will be easer (6) to write and world-widely spread fake news which can influence our opinions.
To sum up, technology is a massive presence impossible to delete and will continue to influence our lives (7). In my opinion, the major aspect to consider most carefully is the second point discussed because we should pay attention on what we read and always find the sources of websites consulted.

Assessor’s comments

The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (_*). You can find the commentaries below. The part in italics is from the text, the underlined word is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.

Technology has an important role in our daily lives and it is used almost all over/around the globe — preposition ‘in’ isn’t used with ‘globe’ here, it would imply that something is located literally inside of it. See this article on prepositions.
I will discuss (I will talk about) its influences — do not use ‘discuss’ and ‘about’ together.
Influence on — if you mean that something directly or indirectly affects something else, then you should say that it has an influence on it.
College colleagues — colleagues are people you work with. Unless you worked in college together e.g. as teachers you shouldn’t use the word. Try ‘classmate’ for people you studied with.
Chance of — If there is a probability of something, then there is a chance of it happening.
Easier — make sure your spelling is right. Also check this list of words that can be difficult to spell right.
To sum up, technology has massive presence that is impossible to overlook/ignore/get rid of and will continue to influence our lives — ‘to delete’ is a more technical term and it doesn’t fit well into the sentence stylistically.

This piece of writing has several inaccuracies with prepositions and occasional vocabulary mistakes. Nonetheless, it is well-structured and all of the points are sufficiently developed. The writer has chosen two of the three points and clearly stated his preference for one of them, as required by the task.

CAE Writing Part 1: Money from Authorities

Which facilities should receive money from local authorities?
-museums;
-sports centres;
-public gardens.
Write an essay discussing two of the facilities in your notes. You should explain which facility is more important for local authorities to give money to, giving reasons in support of your answer.

When it comes to public spending, there is always a heated debate regarding its destination. One of such debates features facilities: some political figures suggest that public money should be destined to museums, while others consider sports centres more deserving. Public opinion is divided as well.
Firstly, some might think that sports centres could improve personal health- and rightfully so. Practising physical activities regurarly (1) is helpful to people for (2) being healthier and living longer. This habit leads also (3) to another positive outcome: if a consistent (4) part of the population improves their physical health, public healthcare will become less expensive for the government, which may adress (5) its money to a different service. A valid objection to this argument is the possibility of practising physical activities autonomously: people do not necessary (6) need a free gym membership since they could go hiking, running in a park, walking around the city or dedicating themselves to any other activity which may improve their health conditions.
On the contrary, museums offer a service which cannot be self-provided: education. Museum visitors have the chance of seeing several items of historical or scientific value that cannot be seen anywhere else. Some sceptics suppose that the same service might be provided sitting behind a computer screen, but first-hand experience is irreplaceable and creates a bigger impact on the visitor’s mind, helping thus in receiving a unique educational experience that could pay off in a possible future career.
If offering a completely free service is not possible, boosting the number of visitors through group discounts, free visits in specific days and special offers for students and families would be advisable and beneficial.

Regularly — this word is very tricky to spell right. Check this list of words with difficult spelling to avoid such mistakes in the future. And make sure to proof-read before handing your exam paper in!
Practising physical activities regularly helps people to be healthier and live longer. — The construction you are using here is a bit complex and therefore difficult for the reader. It is a matter of personal taste more than anything else, but I suggest using clear and concise ways of expressing your thoughts, especially when it comes to writing. I’ve been recommending this to all of my CAE students and most of them end up scoring high in the Writing part. However, there is nothing wrong with using more advanced constructions — just use your own judgement to make sure that they are effortless to understand.
This habit also leads … — you normally put ‘also‘ before the verb, unless it is a modal verb (i. e. ‘can’, ‘may’, ‘should’ or if the verb is ‘to be’.
Did you mean to use the word ‘considerable‘ here? Or did you mean that the part of population doing sports should remain the same over a certain period of time?
Address. Two d’s, two s’s, both in noun and verb forms. See this list of words that are difficult to spell.
People do not necessarily — make sure to use the right part of speech.

This is a well-written text with both points sufficiently developed. The writer presents clear arguments to support the suggested ideas.

Essay has clear structure with the exception of the conclusive paragraph, which serves more as a part with additional suggestions to the idea. It is advisable to have a dedicated conclusion that summarises the idea presented in the text.

Both vocabulary and grammar are of appropriately high level. No mistakes were made that would possibly impede understanding of the ideas. Certain minor grammar and vocabulary flaws do not affect overall impression detrimentally.