You see this announcement in an English-language magazine for teenagers.
I’m sure you will agree if I say that photographs are one of the tools we use the most to make sure to remember something in the future. But why are there so attractive? Let’s discover together.
From the moment they were invented on, photos have never stopped fascinating people who want to make a special moment unforgettable. This technology has been improving a lot since it was born, passing from big machines to little cameras and finally to smartphones. All along this time, people taking pics have increased until, nowadays, whoever has taken a photo at least once. I suppose people to take1 so many photos because at present is2 the only way to make an event or a person eternal.
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t frequently take photos. I am not particularly fond of pics indeed I take them especially3on holiday or perhaps on trip, using my smartphone. Moreover, I usually take photos of people being with me or in case of wonderful landscapes.
In a nutshell, photographs are one of the most brilliant technologies ever invented and most people love them because they can make something immortal. Therefore, remember to bring your camera wherever you go.
The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). You can find the commentaries below. The part in italics is from the text, the underlined word is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.
- I suppose people take – no to-infinitive is used after ‘suppose’. Verb patterns can be a really tricky aspect of English sometimes 🙂
- … because at present it is the only way – you were missing a subject here.
- I am not particularly fond of pics indeed as I only take them on holidays or perhaps on a trip (trips), using my smartphone. I corrected the sentence the way I understood it. ‘Especially’ here doesn’t convey the meaning that we need – you probably meant that holidays or trips are the only times when you take pictures. Secondly, ‘trip’ requires an article (while ‘on holiday’ is a set phrase and doesn’t).
This article follows the recommended structure and fully develops the required points. However, stylistically it is not optimal. The tasks says that teenagers are going to be reading this. However, here are the more formal expressions that you’ve used (suggested alternative in brackets): ‘Fascinating'(Mind-blowing); ‘Unforgettable'(Stuck in your mind/memory); ‘Whoever'(Anyone); ‘Eternal/Immortal'(Make them famous forever). As you might have noticed, colloquial speech often makes the text more simplistic.
I would also recommend using more informal punctuation (mainly exclamation marks to make the article more emphatic). Grammatically, there are occasional slips, however they do not get in the way of understanding the text. More complex tense structures used successfully: “From the moment they were invented on, photos have never stopped fascinating people who want to make a special moment unforgettable.”