In two presented pie charts are displayed the employment trends in Great Britain in 1992. The datas1 are given in percentage. The first chart represents employment patterns by females, the second – by male2. The categories of work are divided into two big groups – manual and non-manual works.
From the first glance it is clear that manual work is more popular by3 men than by women. While only 31 percent of females are employed in manual labour, more than one half of all male have hand-work. Besides by males category craft or similar is almost a quarter, while by females it is only 3 percent, although “other manual work” by both group is slightly more than 25 percent
As for non-manual work the most numerous category by male is “managerial and professional” with 36 persent4, by female it has also significant mark (29 percent), but “clerical and related” takes the first place with practically one-third of all female-employers5
We conclude, that some categories have almost the same marks by female and male, but other categories like “craft and similar” show big differences.
The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.
- Both singular and plural form of the word is ‘data’
- We should have probably pluralised the noun (this should be applied to the rest of the cases in this piece of writing)
- Popular with/among
- Mind the spelling of ‘percent’
- “… one-third of all female employees“
Occasional spelling mistake and wrong forms of words do not get in the way of understanding here. The writing is well-structured, cohesive and easy to read.