Your class has watched a television documentary about the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
Notes:
-Language
-Culture
-Work
Choose two of the areas in your notes. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer.
Immigration is one of the most discussed and important issues in today’s society. The immigration has increased significantly over the past few years. In this essay, I will discuss some of the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities.
First of all, it is extremely important that the host country provides language classes to immigrants. This is because if they know the local language it will be much more easier (1) for them to communicate with locals and this will lead to them making contacts that can be very helpful in the integration process. Also, language is very important when applying for a job.
However, providing language classes to every immigrant can be very expensive in the long-term and it is something that has to be paid for by using the money from taxes. Therefore, the country has to make sure that the classes are efficient and that they will ensure good results resulting in that the person can get a job.
Secondly, another important thing that a host country should help their immigrants with is something I have already touched upon, to get a job. In order for a immigrant to really integrate in their new community they have to get the opportunities to meet local people and understand their culture. By getting a job, people get these opportunities every single day which is extremely valuable. Also, providing jobs to immigrants very is (2) beneficial for the country in terms of more taxes.
Over all, I think that welcoming these people into the country is not only extremely valuable for the immigrants, it is also extremely beneficial for the country.
The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.
- Easier is the comparative form of easy. Used with ‘more’ it becomes lexically incorrect.
- I’ll assume that the two words very misplaced by accident and will instead mention the frequent use of ‘very’ in this text. Consider using different intensifiers for the sake of variety.
Another great piece of writing. Lexis, grammar and structure are all at a more than adequate level with almost no mistakes or inaccuracies. However, more attention should be paid to the intensifiers used accross the text.