It is argued by many that kids with special abilities should be allowed to study with all students, whilst others feel these kids should be given extra care and ought to be handled in separate sections. The purpose of this essay is to analyse both sides of the arguments then I will give my own perspective (1).
On one side, many people think that kids with special abilities should have the privilege of studying together with all other children. This environment boosts the confidence of children with challenges and allows them to forget their disability, which is utmost important (2). An instance illustrating this in action is the life history of few individuals, who achieved great heights when they were treated alongside other kids without any discriminations .
On the flip side, creating a special environment for challenging children (3) is highly preferable, according to some. This is because kids with challenging abilities need attention and different supporting staff with specialized skills to teach these kids. An example is the “Asha kirana” school, which is specialised in nurturing kids with challenging abilities, support them and identify their hidden abilities (4).
Finally, in my opinion, I am in favor of enabling challenging children to learn and excel in specialised setup rather than combining with other students. Some kids may have resentment when merged with other kids (5). Thus, it is better to allow kids with special abilities to be in their favoured environment.
In conclusion, children with special abilities can be combined with other kids or kept in a separate favorable environment. However, in my view, kids with challenges should be differentiated and allow them to study in a different set up which can address issues such as learning and understanding problems faced by these kids.
The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.
- The purpose of this essay is to analyse both sides of the argument, then I will give my own perspective. — there is only one argument here — whether to separate these kids from others or not. Also a comma after ‘arguments’ introduces the next clause, making the sentence easier to understand.
- This environment boosts the confidence of children with challenges and allows them to forget their disability, which is most important (or of utmost importance) — ‘utmost’ is an adjective, not an adverb (unlike ‘most’).
- On the flip side, creating a special environment for challenging children — in this case and later throughout the text the phrase ‘challenging children’ is supposed to mean children with various disabilities. They are more often referred to as ‘challenged children’. ‘Challenging’ has a meaning ‘difficult to deal with, disobedient’, but even though it is clear what the author implies here I would still suggest using ‘challenged’.
- An example is the Asha Kirana school, which is specialised in nurturing kids with challenging abilities, support them and identify their hidden talents — Asha Kirana should be capitalised, I have paraphrased ‘abilities’ to avoid using it twice.
- Some kids may have resentment when merged with their peers — I have paraphrased ‘kids’ here with a less used alternative.
This is a very decent essay with pronounced and clear structure, well-defined main idea and a balanced argument. One thing that would make it better is more attention to vocabulary — the author could easily come up with synonyms for most of the more often used constructions.