User-submitted essay: Children’s Choice

Some people argue that children should do what their parents tell them to do. Other people think that children should learn how to think for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is commonly believed that kids ought to follow the instructions given by their parents, whilst others think kids should be given the liberty to listen to their own self. The purpose of this essay is to analyse both sides of the argument and then I will give my own perspective.

Parents hold the responsibility of guiding and assisting their children in following their guideline. First and foremost, parents have a lot of expertise in each and every aspect of life, which enable them to take better decision for their kids’ well-being and intense growth in all fields (1). For example, Lathe Mangeshkar who is the Nightingale of India got immense support from their parents in identifying her hidden talent and nurturing it.

On the flip side, children should opt their choice without being influenced by others, according to some (2). This is because each and every kid is gifted with the ability to think on their own and make the necessary decision as per requirement. A prime example is the life history of Dr. Rajkumar from sandalwood industry. During his childhood, he found his great impulse in acting and choose film industry as his career, thus achieved great heights and earned both name and fame (3).

Finally, in my opinion, I am in favor of people who think youngster should be given the privilege to carefully think from their perspective and share the same with their parents rather than burdening them with parent’s choice (4).

In conclusion, children are the future of our nation. So, it is guardians responsibility to make kids understand necessary concepts about leading life and support them in choosing the right choice. Nevertheless, parents should guide children in making the right choice rather than masking kids opinion.

The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.

  1. First and foremost, parents have a lot of expertise in each and every aspect of life, which enables them to take better decision for their kids’ well-being and intense growth in all fields. — expertise enables them.
  2. On the flip side, children should make their choice without being influenced by others, according to some. — You can ‘opt for something’ or ‘opt to do something’. If you are unsure how to use a certain construction, it is better to use a more familiar one than make a mistake in a more complex one.
  3. During his childhood, he found his great impulse in acting and chose film industry as his career, thus (he) achieved (or thus achieving) great heights and earned (or earning) both name and fame — both verbs in the first clause should be in the past. Second clause is either missing a pronoun or the verb is used in wrong form.
  4. Finally, in my opinion, I am in favour of people who think youngster should be given the privilege to carefully think from their perspective and share the same with their parents rather than burdening them with parent’s choice. — you are using British English spelling and vocabulary throughout your essay: ‘whilst’, ‘analyse’. It is important to be consistent with it.