User-submitted essay: Buying New or Repairing Old

Some people prefer to repair items rather than buy new ones. What is your opinion on this? What problem can arise in the process?

In families, elders are keen on repairing things, in contrast to with buying new items, as it can result in wastage of money (1). Everyone needs money for spending a prosperous life, so we need to spend it carefully on necessary goods (2). This habit is modelled in a majority of homes which promotes inspires people to stop buying unnecessary things and give high priority to for repair and reuse of commodities (3).

It is observed that people are interested in fixing the problem with the goods in comparison with purchasing new items(4). I completely agree with this notion and believe this will have a negative influence on companies who are indulged in producing consumer goods (5).

This approach has an adverse effect on industries who are working on consumer goods. This is because, as individuals are more keen on fixing the problems with the items, thus impacting the sale of new goods which badly affects the organizations. Therefore, firms may see a decline, which will have adverse consequences on the people who are working in these companies.

In conclusion, repairing goods rather than purchasing new ones is vital all around (6). This trend is definitely positive, that facilitates people to limit think wisely before spending their earnings on brand-new items. However, this growth impacts firms indulged in the production of new goods will see a that might see a downward trend (7).

The commentaries are marked in brackets with number (*). The numbered commentaries are found below. The part in italics is taken from the text, the word underlined is the suggested correction. Words in (brackets) are the suggested addition to the original phrase or sentence.

  1. In families, elders are keen on repairing things in contrast to buying new items, as it can result in wasting/spending money.
  2. Everyone needs money for a prosperous life, so we need to spend it carefully on necessary goods only — I have added ‘only’ for more emphasis.
  3. This habit is modelled in a majority of homes which encourages people to stop buying unnecessary things and give high priority to for repair and reuse of commodities.
  4. It is observed that people are interested in fixing the problem with the goods as opposed to purchasing new things.
  5. I completely agree with this notion and believe that this will have a negative influence on companies that are involved in producing consumer goods — companies are inanimate object are therefore you should use ‘that’ instead of ‘who’.
  6. In conclusion, repairing goods rather than purchasing new ones is vital all around — it is unclear what the author means by ‘vital all around’. Consider using a simpler construction so your reader would understand you.
  7. However, this growth impacts firms involved in the production of new goods will see a that might see a downward trend.

This essay needs a lot of work to be considered good.

  1. It is seriously under-length. At 160 words, it fails to present enough argumentation.
  2. The structure needs reworking. Introductory paragraph is too big, it contains information that would better be used in a body paragraph.
  3. More complex collocations are used incorrectly, at times this stands in the way of understanding.

Some of these mistakes could be avoided with proof-reading. This is a universal solutions to many inaccuracies of any written work. Three minutes spent on proofreading can increase your mark dramatically.